The Hardest Part

a few years ago

I don't know if any of you know (or care for that matter) that I am the father of two adopted boys, one of whom is somewhere within the autism spectrum realm as they say. I am also the foster dad to two more boys, which leads to nary a dull moment around our house.

I wrote something recently for my two sons that I would like to share, I don't know how many people feel as I about their children, maybe it has to do with adoption, maybe with autism, maybe I've just completely gone around the bend. Anyhow it is a sentiment and an affirmation to them and myself that they indeed are loved and always will be. It goes something like this:

The hardest part for me

Hasn't been the loving

It hasn't been the showing

The true meaning of life
It hasn't been the sharing

Or the caring

Or the daring to be true

It hasn't been the difference

Between all of me and you

It hasn't been those nights we've lost

It hasn't been the extravagant cost

It hasn't been those things between the lines

It hasn't been all those times

Where it all got miss-communicated

It wasn't those words you said

How you really hated

Me and us, how we should be dead

It’s never been about the past

It wont ever be about your loss

Or what you should have gained

It’s only a fear you’ll lose

This life’s love and joy

Truly the hardest part has always been

One day knowing you will no longer be mine.